If insecurity and low self-esteem are two feelings that you’re all too familiar with, it’s likely you are actively looking for ways to overcome them. Unfortunately it’s not as easy as to do this as most would like, especially since they can be tough battles to win. However, with the right attitude and tools, it’s certainly not impossible. The mind can be overcome.There are many things you can do to brighten your attitude, become more positive, and begin to look at yourself in a new light.
How to Overcome Your Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem
Some of the most effective ways you can change and work towards overcoming your insecurity and low self-esteem include:
1. Change How You Feel About Yourself
How do you really feel about yourself? If you’re struggling with low self-esteem and insecurity, then you likely have a low self image. In order to change this for the better, you first have to realize that you are good enough to believe in yourself and have a positive self image. Next, it’s important to change the image you have in your mind of who you should be. Whether this means thinking you should look a different way or be more successful, you have to be confident in the place you are. By dropping the fantasy of being a different way, you will be able to feel better about who you are now and all that you’ve already accomplished.
2. Let Go of the Thought of Perfection
Everyone has the desire to be a success, whether this means finally becoming the boss at work, opening a business, or reaching a goal weight. While it’s important to have goals, the idea of perfection can end up causing you to constantly judge yourself with negative thoughts and emotions. By dropping the idea of “perfection” and accepting where you are currently, you will be looking at yourself in a new light. To get started with this, tell yourself 5 positive affirmations about yourself every morning, such as:
- I am healthy and well.
- I am a good friend, good mother, father..etc.
- I am a hard worker.
- I am good at…
- I am successful.
Although this might sound silly at first, if you keep up with it, eventually you will build a much more positive inner dialogue. In time this can mean automatically having positive thoughts rather than negative thoughts that lower your self-esteem further.
3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
With social media constantly broadcasting the highlights in people’s lives, it can feel easy to like you’re not good enough. However, it’s important to remember that the moments that most people share are just the positive glimpses in life. Those don’t show the bad times, boring days at work, or monotonous activities that most everyone else does on a daily basis. By understanding this and not comparing yourself to others, you’re much less likely to have low self-esteem or be insecure about what’s going on in your life.
If you can’t seem to shake these feelings, try removing yourself from social media. Spending too much time investing in others’ lives will only make these feelings more of a burden.
4. Start a Journal
Whether you type on your phone on the bus ride to work or write in a journal at the end of the long day, this can help you express your emotions. What might surprise you the most about this is that there are many more emotions that will come out when you actually write them down. Through that you’ll be able to identify the negative feelings you have about yourself and can then focus on changing them through positive thinking.
Most people are completely unaware at how negative their subconscious is, especially when it comes to themselves. Give yourself a change to see how you really feel by writing all of your emotions out. As you bring your negative thoughts into awareness you’ll be able to work towards changing them in a more effective manner.
5. Stop Judging
While everyone has been guilty of judging others, most people judge themselves as well. Although it can be difficult, practicing being non-judgmental can help you accept yourselves and others in a much more effective manner. When it comes to accepting yourself in particular, let go of your failures, accept past experiences, and love yourself for who you are today. When it comes to other people, accept them how they are now knowing that they can be facing struggles that you’re unaware of.
To help make this a little bit easier, the next time you feel like judging yourself, give yourself a compliment. If you feel like judging someone else, think of something you could compliment them on, even if you don’t say it out loud. However, if you do give them a compliment, you’ll likely see how good it makes them feel and will immediately feel great for your positive thinking.
6. Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself
As individuals, each of us tend to be harder on ourselves than we are anyone else. Would anyone else judge you for the things that you judge yourself for? It’s very likely that they wouldn’t, as most people aren’t as focus on others as they are on themselves. So the next time you feel like putting yourself down for making a mistake or not liking the way you look, stop. Instead, show yourself compassion and acceptance so you feel safe in your own skin.
7. Meditate
Meditation is beneficial for overall health but it can help with insecurity and low self-esteem as well. Just a few minutes of this activity per day can release negative thoughts, help you focus on your body, and allow you to accept positive thoughts more effectively. To get started, simply sit in a comfortable position in a quiet spot. Give yourself 5 minutes to let your mind clear and repeat on a daily basis to enhance that clarity.
Overcoming the Difficult Times
One of the easiest things for people to do today is fall into a pattern of negative thinking that eventually ruins self-esteem and causes insecurity. Even if you’ve been guilty of this for yourself, it’s never too late to change. Keep a journal, repeat positive affirmations to yourself, and try to give yourself the compassion that you deserve. By doing this you are very likely to change your thinking and become a more confident, self-loving, and secure individual.
What do you do to when your self-esteem is in the dumpsters?
Writer and globe wanderer, who's interests not only take her to distant corners of the world, but also to undiscovered regions of her inner Self. Marina is a student and facilitator of A Course in Miracles (ACIM). She practices forgiveness and gratitude to transform her relationship with herself and others.
Oh yes, I completely agree that journaling can transform your self-esteem. Focusing on gratitude and all the positive aspects of your day (and processing everything that happened) is great for your mental health.
And YES, judging others less and comparing yourself to others less are both key in improving self-esteem. Comparison is the thief of joy.